Lesson 5: It's not my party but I will still cry if I want to.

I love being married to the most wonderful man on the planet, really I do, and that is why I was not going to mess up Tyler's birthday cake... again.

I may have failed in the birthday cake department on his actual birthday day. I knew he likes ice cream cake so I stopped by Baskin Robbins and picked up what I thought was a chocolate, fudge, caramel cake... at least that is what the lady in the store told me. Unfortunately one bite into the cake and Tyler let me know that I had actually bought a coffee flavored cake. He politely gagged down his piece and later told me he did not want anymore of the belch cake also stating,"For future reference, I like Dairy Queen cakes."

Fast forward to the end of the month. Tyler still had not used his Red Robin free birthday burger card. We decided to have a little date night for one last birthday fling before saying goodbye to June. I even devised an entire plan where I would surprise him with a Dairy Queen cake at the restaurant. It would be great! They would come out singing and clapping their hands. Tyler would be red with embarrassment but a look of shock and surprise would cross his face when there in front of him was the more delicious, awesome, wonderful, stupendous cake a wife could ever buy a husband. (that is how it played out in my head anyhow).

We were to meet at the restaurant since we were coming from opposite directions. I hurried over to the Dairy Queen and asked if they could write "Happy Birthday Tyler" on the cake. Sure, no problem, it will be just a minute, they replied and into the back the cake went. Time passed, and then some more time. What is taking so long? I began to get a little nervous. Tyler can't get to the restaurant before me. This has to work. Finally the cake came back. Ok... I thought to myself, they totally spelled "birthday" wrong and then tried to fix it. The smeared blue icing said it all. Oh well, no time, I was off to Red Robin.

I beat Tyler there and explained the situation to the hostess who took the cake to the freezer. Tyler arrived a few minutes later and we were seated. Oh yeah, I'm good. We had our meals, I told the waiter it was Tyler's birthday, we talked about work, health insurance, what our plans are for the 4Th of July. We finished eating full and content. I squirmed in my seat. I hoped the hostess had told our waiter of my genius plan. As the waiter came to drop off our bill he asked if we would want anything for dessert other than the birthday sundae (maybe he is trying to throw Tyler off). My heart sunk as Tyler stated he not only did not want anyone to sing to him but he also did not want a sundae. I kept holding on hope that soon, very soon the waiter would come marching out, cake in hand, with a line of fellow employees bursting into song. The waiter brought back the change, told us to have a great evening and walked away. He didn't know.

A wave of panic overcame me. What do I do? I can't tell Tyler. What do I do? It's ruined. And then... I started to cry. "What is the matter? What happened?" Tyler asked. I am sure he was completely thrown off by my sudden outburst. I could not even talk. I did not want to tell Tyler because I was so upset that my perfect plan had failed. Finally, I was able to sputter out that there was a cake in the back waiting for him and they forgot.

Against my protests, Tyler called over the waiter as I sat there with tear filled eyes. "Is there a cake in the back for me?"

"Oh would you like cake for dessert?"

"No," I chimed in, trying to hide my now red face, "I brought a cake for him that was supposed to be brought out."

I feel kind of bad for the waiter. He repeated I'm so sorry about 15 times before running back to quickly grab the cake, some people to sing, and I am sure have a few choice words with the hostess.

The cake came out, they sang a song and we dug into the cake with just our forks and a new-found hunger only ice cream cake can bring out. Later the manager came by and apologetically offered us a coupon for a free appetizer. I can just imagine the workers in back talking about how they made a girl cry.

So, at the end of the day Tyler was surprised, I now have a funny story to tell, and the cake was delicious... and isn't that what really matters?

Pictures from Lesson 4

Close up of my handy work
I used pliers to hold the safety pin over the candle flame

Tyler soaking his finger in antiseptic wash

A small idea of the blood splurting everywhere

We did not have a before picture but you can kind of see how bad it was

Lesson 4: It's 3AM, do you know where your husband is?

3AM rolled around this morning as I awoke to the sound of Tyler cleaning up puppy pee on the carpet. He had set Max on the pee pad and the defiant pup took a few steps forward and peed just off the mat. But my main concern was why in the world is my husband up?

He had not been able to sleep all night as a result of smashing his index finger last Saturday at work. The constant throbbing and build up of blood under the nail was enough to deny him of any quality sleep for the past 3 nights. I had suggested to him in the past that he try to poke a hole in his nail to relieve the pressure. I had never done it before nor had I ever even seen it done. I just remember being told what to do in 1st aid classes. Tyler always said no. There is no way he was letting me stab him with a needle.

This particular morning I believe the "pressure" finally got to him as he announced he was going to do it! He was going to poke a hole in his nail. Good, I yelled from bed, make sure you Google how it is done. Of course I could not let all this go down without me, so I dragged myself out of bed and took a look at the instructions. Apparently you burn a hole not poke it.... very nice. We heated up the needle with one of our smelly candles. Tyler made the first attempt. One barely there touch of the needle to his nail and he was done. Mine was the second attempt. A little sizzling and I could see the blood begin to seep out. Hooray, I cheered, success! Tyler made the point that we should burn another hole to let a bit more blood out.

This time I was bound and determined to do it right. A bit more pressure on the needle and WHAM-O, blood spurting everywhere! Argh, Tyler shouted as he jerked his hand back flinging blood across the table.

Did I hurt you?

Just a little, I could feel the pressing down of the needle.

I felt bad of course.... but it was just so awesome I could not contain my happiness. First aid classes work :) I had always thought the idea of stabbing someone's fingernail with a needle was crazy. But it works!!!

A quick run to the Safeway across the street for antiseptic wash to soak his finger and Dr. Opfar's procedure is complete. :)

Pictures to follow.

Lesson 3: It is nice to get flowers

On Thursday Tyler surprised me by showing up after work with a bouquet of flowers. My mom told me to enjoy it while it lasts. I most certainly will. One of my favorite surprises is a beautiful bouquet of flowers from the man I love. It is the gift that keeps on giving. I can be cleaning up Max's 3rd poo in the house of the day and look up to see me flowers and think well at least I have a man who loves me. Or there are the late nights of cleaning up the apt and I see my flowers and I smile.

Of course the lesson that is most important in this scenario is to make sure to make it known that it is nice to get flowers. So many good thoughts go unsaid, or said to the wrong person. Tyler it is nice to get flowers.... and to be married to a man like you!

Lesson 2: Everyone is more cuddly when they are tired.

The same methods can be applied when attempting to tire out a husband or a puppy. Outside help may be a necessary resource. Simply send your husband to work and your puppy to your 2 and 4 year old niece and nephew. Then simply sit back and enjoy your quiet evening at home.

Side note: do not attempt this tire out method when housework needs to be done.