For this post I, Whitney Frances Opfar would just like to say that I love my husband Tyler, my dog Max, and our lives. Max is doing alright. He is sleeping like a rock in the familiar family futon fashion. Tyler is as amazing and non-controversial as ever. And I am learning lessons everyday on improving my wifehood. While trying to avoid obnoxious vague statements but trying to apply what I have learned today I will just say that sometimes life is not black and white. Married life especially. In fact, most of life is spent in that crazy grey area where anything can happen. You will notice there are lesson numbers missing. If you are one of my avid followers (of which there are two) congratulations. You have been privy to now deleted material. Tyler is the most patient, loving, kind and wonderful person on the planet and if people interpret an entry in my blog to convey anything less than that then it does not belong in cyberspace.
So now let's continue on.... Oh and tonight is Max's first night cone-less. Hopefully this will keep him from forcing Tyler to the floor...
Monday, August 15, 2011
Saturday, August 13, 2011
Lesson 17: Let Sleeping Pups Lie
Relaxing with Maximus at home today. A healing puppy certainly needs plenty of sleep. Tyler and I have had to adapt our sleeping arrangements at night to accommodate Cone-an the Barbarian. We pull the futon onto the floor and use a Willie Wonka-esk full family in the bed style. This works well until Max has to go potty in the middle of the night. His usual method of sniffing our faces has gone south. Each sniff of a face includes a full facial encapsulation by the cone. Imagine waking up to someone covering your face with a plastic bowl. Only this bowl has a furry snuffy pup inside it.
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Lesson 16: A puppy in a cone is the most pathetic thing you will ever witness
1. neutered
2. hernia removed
3. dew claws removed
4. microchipped
5. remaining baby teeth pulled (luckily he was in the clear for this)
Tyler stopped by my work today with Maximus the survivor. He will need to keep his cone on for 14 days and have his bandages, which can't get wet, changed in a week. There will be no running, jumping, excessive walking, scratching of itches or biting of dressing permitted.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Lesson 15: Laundry Day is Better With a Friend
Tyler dropped Max and me off at the laundromat last night to clean the comforter (see Lesson 14 for the reason why). Having an enormous comforter costs a lot to clean! Especially when I waste four quarters on a broken dryer. While Max and I rekindled my dislike of the laundromat, Tyler made a run over to Home Depot to buy some chicken wiring for our balcony. Max will sit next to the sliding glass door staring out with longing in his eyes. Unfortunately there is a large gap at the bottom of the fencing around the balcony so Max is not currently allowed out on it. Tyler is going to fix that this weekend.
Today is Max's big day to get worked over at the vet. It was a sad day for Tyler leaving him there this morning. I will go in tomorrow morning to pick him up. My poor little Batsey!
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Lesson 14: Tyler will make a great dad... or it will kill him off
What a night for poor Tyler. After a successful obedience class Max decided to cancel it all out. It all started with my doing a work out video. Max would grab his squeaky hedgehog, shove it into my leg and SQUEAK SQUEAK SQUEAK! Even after a few leg bops to his nose while I attempted to get my groove on with my hip hop aerobics video he was relentless. I would throw the toy down the hall and he would bring it back. I took the toy away and then he would just jump up and attack me. Tyler noticed my plight from the spare room and corralled Max in the room with him while doing math homework. Several minutes of squealing pig puppy and Max was free again. Back for more hedgehog torment.
My video ended and I joined Tyler by sitting on the floor while he did his homework. We are working to get Max to stop biting by spraying him with bitter apple when he bites. So after I sat on the floor and got a nice hard chomp from Max I reached for the spray. Max knew what he had done and made a run for it. Our obedience instructor that night had just told us to not let them do this because it is like getting away with bad behavior, so I followed him into the dining room. Max was huddled between the chairs hiding like the chiWEENIE that he is. I must have scared him pretty good because while I waved my hands under the table to get him out he PEED! ARGH! TYLER HELP!
Tyler came and put Max in his crate while we cleaned the pee. After this drama, Tyler took a moment to work with Max on not biting and using the bitter apple spray. I kept my distance because I felt bad for Max, but I knew he needed to be taught not to be a bad dog.
Exhausted, Max and I went to bed. Tyler went back to his homework. An hour later I was woken up by Tyler pulling the comforter off me. Max had peed on Tyler's side of the bed (revenge pee?). A new blanket was draped over me and I was out again. 2AM rolled around and I awoke again to the sound of Tyler throwing on his shorts and jacket to take Max outside to pee. His worn out body crashed back into bed after the walk only to jerk awake a short while later to the sound of Max chewing apart my old comforter that Tyler had placed on the bed. It was now my turn to deal with pooch.... I threw him on the floor and fell back asleep.
"Did you just put him on the floor?" Tyler sleepily asked
"Yes," I answered and rolled over.
To this response Tyler stumbled out of bed yet again to pour some food for Max, set up the baby gate, and shut all doors creating a smaller area for Max to demolish. Then it was back to bed...
We made it through the rest of the night. Although, I am not sure there was much left of the night to get through. Oh, I forgot to mention that in just about 30 minute increments Max would decide to bark at absolutely nothing... or he was warning us about the murderer in the closet. Either way it was annoying. My alarm woke me up around 6AM and I took Max out for his morning walk.
Last night brought me to the conclusion.... Max is getting fixed!!! We have been holding off until the end of August but I have a long weekend off work and this is getting done. I called up the vet and they can fit him in tomorrow morning. The clouds parted and the angels sang! So tomorrow morning Max is getting "the works". He will be getting fixed, dew claws removed, hernia removed, micro chipped, and any leftover baby teeth pulled.
As a follow-up to how tired Tyler is this morning, I just talked to him on the phone and he said in his attempt to head to school he first started driving towards my parents house. After realizing this was the wrong direction he then headed toward Maple Valley... also the wrong direction.... I hope he does alright on his test today!!!
My video ended and I joined Tyler by sitting on the floor while he did his homework. We are working to get Max to stop biting by spraying him with bitter apple when he bites. So after I sat on the floor and got a nice hard chomp from Max I reached for the spray. Max knew what he had done and made a run for it. Our obedience instructor that night had just told us to not let them do this because it is like getting away with bad behavior, so I followed him into the dining room. Max was huddled between the chairs hiding like the chiWEENIE that he is. I must have scared him pretty good because while I waved my hands under the table to get him out he PEED! ARGH! TYLER HELP!
Tyler came and put Max in his crate while we cleaned the pee. After this drama, Tyler took a moment to work with Max on not biting and using the bitter apple spray. I kept my distance because I felt bad for Max, but I knew he needed to be taught not to be a bad dog.
Exhausted, Max and I went to bed. Tyler went back to his homework. An hour later I was woken up by Tyler pulling the comforter off me. Max had peed on Tyler's side of the bed (revenge pee?). A new blanket was draped over me and I was out again. 2AM rolled around and I awoke again to the sound of Tyler throwing on his shorts and jacket to take Max outside to pee. His worn out body crashed back into bed after the walk only to jerk awake a short while later to the sound of Max chewing apart my old comforter that Tyler had placed on the bed. It was now my turn to deal with pooch.... I threw him on the floor and fell back asleep.
"Did you just put him on the floor?" Tyler sleepily asked
"Yes," I answered and rolled over.
To this response Tyler stumbled out of bed yet again to pour some food for Max, set up the baby gate, and shut all doors creating a smaller area for Max to demolish. Then it was back to bed...
We made it through the rest of the night. Although, I am not sure there was much left of the night to get through. Oh, I forgot to mention that in just about 30 minute increments Max would decide to bark at absolutely nothing... or he was warning us about the murderer in the closet. Either way it was annoying. My alarm woke me up around 6AM and I took Max out for his morning walk.
Last night brought me to the conclusion.... Max is getting fixed!!! We have been holding off until the end of August but I have a long weekend off work and this is getting done. I called up the vet and they can fit him in tomorrow morning. The clouds parted and the angels sang! So tomorrow morning Max is getting "the works". He will be getting fixed, dew claws removed, hernia removed, micro chipped, and any leftover baby teeth pulled.
As a follow-up to how tired Tyler is this morning, I just talked to him on the phone and he said in his attempt to head to school he first started driving towards my parents house. After realizing this was the wrong direction he then headed toward Maple Valley... also the wrong direction.... I hope he does alright on his test today!!!
Friday, August 5, 2011
Lesson 13: Walk Tall and Wear a Fluffy Tutu
My sisters, mom and I went to another street fair on Saturday. Pretty much every other booth was selling little girl tu tus and enormous hair/head band flowers. I don't mind the flowers so much but the tu tus are just rediculous. Little girls should only wear them for dress up play and ballet. It reminded me of the royal wedding where all the ladies wore crazy hats. There is an unspoken competition between girls to see who can fit their child in the most rediculous attire. Mothers lament when they are disqualified from the competition because their baby girl does not wear head bands. Oh what shall I do? How will I show my face among the other dolled up housewives.
TO RECAP.... GOOD
TO RECAP.... GOOD
WHAT THE???
OH, NOW I SEE IT...
NOW HOLD ON, WHAT KIND OF FUTURE DOES THIS CHILD HAVE?
TOUCHE
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Updates For the Puppy and Husband
Max threw a temper tantrum at obedience class last night. He had absolutely no interest in learning "down." I was so grateful to have Tyler there to help wrangle the crazy gladiator. After class we discussed possibly using a "power steering" collar for Maximus. It is the scary collar with spiky things on it. The trainer said it may be a good idea since Max has been pulling so much on his leash and making himself sick. This is a picture of Max in his shiny new accessory (only worn under supervision of course).
Max is not too big a fan of the collar just yet... If you are wondering why Tyler seems to be sleeping a lot in these pictures it is mostly because I take the pics super early in the morning before I go to work. Tyler is very patient with me. :)
Why helloooooo
Here is an updated picture of Tyler's nail. Nasty! Half of it is not even connected and can be peeled back. As you can see the hole has grown up to the top of the nail.
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